I am currently reading Eckart Tolle's book A New Earth. This is a follow up work to his book The Power of Now. Basically, for those who have not read Tolle's work yet, his message is that our lives are maximized by living in the present moment. This is not a new concept for me….I was introduced to Present Moment, Wonderful Moment: Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living by Thich Nhat Hanh several years ago. Mindfulness is a habit, though, just like UNmindfulness! Hence, I continued in my (unmindful) pattern for more years than I'd like to admit. Since last year, however, I have been on a new mission, and ready to exert the effort necessary to transform my life.
I am an avid reader, most often in the middle of several books at once. They all have such powerful messages that I cannot commit myself to one at a time. Often, I find correlations between them that makes it efficient to be reading them at the same time. Due to this tendency, though, I snatched up the audio version of A New Earth when I saw it on sale at Target, and have been thrilled to have the opportunity to listen to Tolle's "private lessons" as I drive each day.
Tolle teaches that while being mindful in the present moment (or "living in the now"), a person is not caught up with issues of what they should have done or what has happened to them (past) or what they should do or are going to do(future), but simply what they are doing at each moment. In other words, a person's ego or pain cannot be involved at all in the moment that is occurring right now, if they mindfully dedicate their attention to only that moment. It is a powerful concept, however foreign to our society's way of thinking.
As I listen to the lessons and examples, I try to apply the wisdom. Sometimes, it is quite easy and I feel an incredible sense of peace. But other times, it is quite difficult. Since I am driving, I am subject to the tendencies of drivers around me. When I am cut off or a driver is extraordinarily slow, I find my ego really take over. Even though I am generally a kind and helpful person, I also have high expectations for myself. I get very disappointed when people show a lack of respect for others. This is my ego.
It is really amazing how our ego can completely take over! While working on my mindfulness, I was given an extreme test recently when I attended my son's first soccer game with a new team. He was on a talented team last year, and was again chosen for the team this year, but we instead chose another team because the traveling requirements were less. Evidently, this left the parents of the old team feeling offended. This changing of teams is quite common, so we're dumbfounded that anyone took our decision personally, especially because the reason we left is completely non-personal. In any case, we were matched against the old team in this first game. We did not know that the other team was playing in this special tournament, and were as surprised to see them there as they were to see us! As we walked into the playing area, one of the parents turned to me and said, "I hope we cream you guys. Then you'll realize what a major mistake you made!"
As is normal for me, I remained completely composed on the outside and did not respond. However, on the inside I began to fume! I now wanted more than anything for my son's team to win, and when my husband continually called out encouragement to the kids on the old team (we still knew and liked all the kids and still wanted them to do well and feel proud of themselves!), I told him to stop it , they were the competition! Yikes, did I just SAY that!!!!! But yes, I was really caught up in my ego personality and I wanted to cream THEM! Slowly, however, as I breathed deeply and centered myself, my ego subsided and I was able to be my kind self again. I even called out compliments to the other kids. We lost the game 16-14. Our team had every right to be proud of the 14 points they earned.
After the game, as we walked to the parking lot, the son of the parent who'd enraged
me earlier made a comment to my son, "You guys stink! Now you're on a losing team!" Like father, like son. I told my son to let it go and that
we'd talk about it in the car. Because I'd returned to my mindful center again, I was able to realize that it was personal pain in the form of
low-esteem that caused that father to want to cream us, and that he, of course, was teaching his son to think the same way. I don't want to live like that,
do you?
This article will appear in the next edition of Women's Teaching, an uplifting publication written by
women, for women, designed to improve women's well-being. If you are interested in receiving a free edition of this monthly publication, please contact me
through my website, www.livinginharmony.biz . I will be thrilled to arrange for you to receive one!
